THE

COMPLETE REPORT

One year ago...

A scrunt private committed the greatest mistake of Negromundheim's known history and opened a door that had been left closed for centuries. The door leading to another dimension. The door leading to hell. No, not that petty hell – GOTHIC HELL, the one where it's hot.

The nations of Negromundheim attempted a desperate war effort to start other expeditions to the Negromnium mine – but they weren’t really aware of what expected them there...

The Scrunts sent more troops.
The New Dawn League sent more troops.
The Neo Soviets sent more troops.
The Worms sent more troops.

But they soon found out they were no match for the infernal legions of Cyber ArchDuke Jakar Nilson and his generals, Barons J.Kaar'Mak and J.Rom'Ro.

The situation seemed unmanageable until the Doom Space Marines joined in the fray. Those Imperial elite shock troops were the first not only to stop the demonic tide, but to get to the mine's entrance.

After fighting their way through endless hordes of demonic minions to the pit that led to the door to hell, they had to face another unfortunate reality: there was no way to close the door again – AT LEAST, NOT FROM THIS SIDE.

Gothic Hell was to be locked from the inside.

For the first time in history, all commandoes then joined forces (if only temporarily) and stepped into Gothic Hell itself to find a way to lock the door to Hell from the inside.

Many Scrunts were slaughtered in vain at the Wheel of Doom, the dimensional device that kept the door open. The NeoSoviets were hardly more successful. Youri, the first acknowledged child of Negromnium did become a proletarian hero by slaying Baron J.Kaar'Mak by the Hammer and Sickle, but this time the situation was so desperate that even Kommander Ontsatiev preferred calling back his troops.

Meanwhile, the New Helders made an unexpected discovery – in the darkest corridors of Hell, they found... Sarah and Julianah Jones. The two archeologists were killed two years ago at IDT3 in the middle of a gunfight between the forces of Shub Niggurath and of the Neosoviet Politburo. Though their last action was to save the world by tearing apart page 666 of the Negronomicon, they were nonetheless sentenced to hell because of unforgivably dubious actions during their youth (allegedly drug addiction and other mischiefs best left untold.)

During those two years, the intrepid sisters did not waste their time : thanks to the map of Hell drawn by Sandro Boticelli and Dante Allighieri's descriptions, they soon managed to find a way out : there was a dimensional teleport hidden under Jakar Nilson's throne. The arrival of the armies of mortals in hell brought them the back up they needed until now to take their chance.

Meanwhile, on Negromundheim, every government's attention was shifting towards the southern radioactive jungle, where teams of adventurers had been sent to seek for the Diamond Pistachio - reportedly the magic key that could still close the door to hell from the outside.

The jungle was infested with dangerous and unexpected creatures, and the competition between parties was fierce. The Crocodile-King, master of the jungle and legendary hitter of the Negromundheim Yankees himself entered the game to defend his property against the thieving strangers who had hired his old rival Martine, head-hitter of the Golgomundheim Clippers, to defeat him.

After facing a thousand perils, it is finally a group of ruthless and greedy mercenaries who got hold of the precious gem - only to discover that is was just a piece of shiny rubber marked "made in Veh deh merd".

The dimensional gate was still open and wouldn't be closed.

Negromundheim was doomed.

Unaware of that devastating news, a bunch of exhausted survivors were facing CyberArchduke Jakar Nilson in a desperate attempt to escape Gothic Hell via the portal under his throne. The cream of the Imperial Shock Troops eventually managed the unthinkable: they knocked Jakar Nilson out and escaped Gothic Hell, leaving the remains of the other forces behind them.

A couple hours later, a red mobile phone rang in the radioactive jungle.

- "Duchesse? We have a problem. It looks like you're not going on holiday anytime soon. At first, we thought of calling it a draw in the Imperial fashion, but that won't do: Hell's really taking over the planet. What do you say?

- I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit - it's the only way to be sure."

Everywhere on the planet, similar conclusions were made. Emergency evacuation and battle plans were discussed around bottles of Gros Plant du Pays Nantais. Space was the only way out – and already, it was pretty obvious that there wouldn’t be room for everyone.

It was still early to know whether any possible survivors from the expeditions in hell would manage to run their way back home from wherethey got in – one thing was sure, though: they’d better hurry if they want to catch the next spacecraft.